Job Hunting

My sad, sad Gold Star Chart. Needs work.

I want a cookie, gold star, high five and whatever else you’re willing to give. My last month has been stupid rough. I don’t want to get out of bed. I eat only because I have to, and I’ve not been to the gym for more than four hours in the last three weeks combined. So yeah, it sucks.

I’m tired, but I can’t sleep. And actually, I don’t want to sleep. It sounds crazy, because it (quite possibly) is. When I sleep, I have nightmares that make me not want to sleep again. What kind of crazy am I talking about? Well...in the past ten days, these have been my dreams: EVERY single member of my family dies (and no one told me), I’ve been a murder victim (several times in several different ways. Last night I was thrown down an escalator) and I’ve fallen off a bridge into a sea of glass. Needless to say, sleep and I are even less friendly than usual; I’m probably already in the early stages of sleep deprivation. That or nearing a heart attack.

Not being able to sleep means I can’t think, which means I can’t function and I’m all kinds of “off”. Seemingly stupid things drive me absolutely insane now. One of those things that makes me rage far more than it should is searching for a job.

Yes, yes, yes. It’s about that time. Finding a way to pay my rent is sorta kinda important. The most feasible job for me is as an “English Teacher” at an after school program or a summer camp. The money is great compared to anything else I could probably find. Most part time jobs I’ve seen offer 6,000~10,000 won (about $6~$10 an hour). That’s *no joke* less than what I made at my first job when I was 14. The thing about teaching is that you often have to have a proper teaching visa, and because I’m from the US, it is a HUGE hassle.

In order to teach, you have to have a criminal background check. That makes sense. You don’t want a child molester or serial killer coming to your school. Fair enough. A federal (national-level) check? Okay. Because some people figured out that you can commit a crime in one state, go to another and it doesn’t show up on the new record in the new state. But why...why why why do I need to get the national level (FROM THE FEDS) check apostilled? The background check is coming straight from the FBI Criminal Justice Investigative System branch in West Virginia, that’s fingerprint headquarters. It takes several weeks to get the background check done (because there’s no such thing as fast and efficient government) and THEN I have to send it off to another agency to have them certify that it’s real. That’s ridiculous and it can take up to 8 weeks. 

But my real issue is this: only foreign teachers have to do it, and then, only teachers going for E-2 (Teaching) visas. That’s discrimination, and I’m the last person who will usually complain about that. Really? There are no Korean child molesters or serial killers? Foreigners who are married to Koreans are automatically “safe” people? If you want to check backgrounds, why not do it for everyone coming into the country? Students can kill people. Industrial workers can be child molesters. No. It’s only the foreign teachers.  Same with STD and HIV testing (and that stuff ain’t cheap). Only foreign teachers have to do it. Considering the ratio of foreign teachers to all the other foreigners in the country (tourists, workers, students, spouses), I’m pretty sure that more of them are carriers of the dreaded STDs. I also happen to know more than a few Koreans who don't always wrap before they tap....But, you know, only foreigner English teachers have STDs.

Fun fact: the Korean government actually got in trouble with the UN’s Human Rights Council because some people finally brought forth that STD testing has nothing to do with teaching and is only applied to foreigners who are teaching. Moreover, so what if someone has syphilis? It’s not like they’re going to give it to their students. Easily communicable diseases like Hepatitis and Tuberculosis I can understand, but having an untrained lab technician stab me in the arm so you can see if I’ve got HIV? Pointless.

There’s another thing about job searching that really irks me here, more than any other places I’ve applied for jobs (US, Japan, Philippines, China): the lack of a response. The POLITE thing to do if someone applied for a job and you don’t want to hire them is to send them some sort of a rejection or at least an acknowledgment that you got an application from them. Here, nothing. I’ve applied to 10+ jobs and heard back from ONE.  I understand being busy and blah blah blah, but that’s just wrong. I’m tempted to add “Please respond, even if the answer is no”, because this non-responsive crap has got to stop.

Trying to keep my head up and not get discouraged, but that's much easier said than done. Enough for now. Back to scanning the internet for ads... But on an unrelated note: organ sales need to be a legal thing. $3,000 for bone marrow and $10,000 for a kidney?! Bone marrow replenishes and I only need one kidney to survive...

Drinking...

is a national pastime.

That little chart means that ONE person drinks about 6 bottles of bastard vodka A MONTH. Let's do a little math, eh? A bottle of soju is about 7 shots. The pictured beer bottle is about 5 glasses, and makgeolli is impossible to measure. With that in mind, that's about 40 shots of soju, 30 glasses of beer and a butt-ton of makgeolli.....Oh, Korea... I love you.


So yeah, people drink a lot. Now, onto the real shocker for me: who they drink with.

Teachers and Professors.
I would never DREAM of drinking with my professors. In fact, as a student, if you see them in a bar, it's quite awkward and you try to ignore them. So, imagine my complete surprise when in the middle of class, a professor suggested that we all go out for happy hour sometime and have drinks together.

WHAT?!?!?!

Yep. Go out for drinks as a class. Lawsuit waiting to happen. (Litigious USA, for the win)
I did grow up in the States, and of course I knew about keg parties and frat parties and all that craziness, but I never really did any of it. There were a few times I'd go out with a group and play with the infamous Solo cups, but it wasn't anything too spectacular or memorable. with that in mind, how would I go out for drinks with a professor? Someone I'm supposed to see in a professional capacity. Because honestly, "let's stop drinking." said no one ever.


Co-workers and higher ups.
Therein lies the mystery of mysteries:"hway-shick" (again, pronunciation, NOT spelling).
What's that? You go out with your company to eat and "play" and "be friendly". In simple terms, get drunk with your co-workers. I was really surprised. My hagwon owner and all of the teachers went to some grubby bar and the proceeded to get absolutely smashed. I would never imagine getting drunk with my co-workers back at home, let alone with my boss.  My BOSS was red faced, screaming, spilling drinks and couldn't stand up. She was that drunk.  That's what we call 'lawsuit' back home.

Not so uncommon. *And there no open container or public intoxication laws, here*

A good Korean friend of mine worked for a very high-status company. For some odd reason, they invited me to join them after work for drinks.  I got there and they were all in their company jackets, drunk as all get out. Really, the one guy was passed out on the table and the youngest one was so drunk he couldn't keep his head up, yet he had to keep going because his superiors  kept pouring him drinks. I just can't wrap my head around it.

Now, don't get me wrong, there is nothing inherently wrong with alcohol. It's just a completely different mindset, here. As for for me, it wasn't until I came to Korea that alcohol and I became good buddies. Most (if not all) of that was thanks to "teaching". Go out after work and swap horror stories  over a few beers and cheap drinks (much easier because most of us didn't finish work until after 8pm). Plus, soju tastes like cheap vodka without the burn, so it mixes well with beer. Double punch.  Add into that the cultural aspect of drinking in South Korea (you'll regularly see characters drinking and drunk on TV), and you've got a national sport going.

In the end:

It even comes in juice-box form!

God bless cheap alcohol. No, seriously. A 13 oz bottle of 40 proof  is about a dollar. As a broke student, I can appreciate the cheap isht in life.

Motivations to Help

At the risk of turning into a diary today is strictly business and full of biting cynicism.

There are a bunch of groups and organizations behind foreign aid and policy. This week I have a paper due that chronicles the why and how of different agency actions, and for once, I actually halfway understand the correlation to what we’re studying and what we’re writing about (though I still think this would have been better suited for the first paper, instead of the second-to-last)

Basically there are three motivations: Good Neighbor Policy, Economic Interests and Foreign Policy. With that in mind: the more I learn, the less faith I have in humanity as a whole. Seriously. The development groups tend to be just as self-serving as you and me.

Good neighbor is just why it sounds like: helping because it is the right thing to do, because you want to be a so-called “good neighbor”. Now, I’m sure you think that's the way everything should be done. But think about it in your personal life: do you ALWAYS help people just because it’s the right thing to do? What if they've wronged you in the past? What if they don't believe what you do or have ideas that disgust you? If the answer is "yes, I’d do it", then congratulations. You're an amazing person and if there were more people like you in the world; it’d be a much better place. However, I highly doubt that you always help whenever you can just because you should. Ever walked past a beggar? Told someone you were busy and you weren't? Yeah. That’s what I thought. So, it’s completely unreasonable to expect organizations to behave in ways we don’t, considering that the organization is made of people...

Which brings us to motivation number two: economic interests

Money. Cash. Stuff I wish I had lots more of....you get the idea.

More often than not, there is some kind of economic interest at heart. Countries help countries who can make their lives better. Think they should go for the underdog? Let’s see...

You have a choice: two people. One will eventually be rich and powerful, the other will not. If you could see the future you'd help the one who'll be rich. Why sink time and resources into something that won’t someday benefit you? (See what I mean by "faith in humanity is failing"?)

And last but not least is Foreign Policy.

I’ll help you, but you have to do XYZ. Or, I’ll help you if you do (don’t do) XYZ.  Try as they might, organizations, much like the media, pretend to be neutral, but aren’t. It all comes down to strategy. “Let me help you”...of course, by “help”, I mean “steer you toward my ideologies and cultural norms under the guise of helping you poor miserable people build better lives”. God bless the USA, I love my country, and I’ll be the first one to yell “MURICA! HELL YEAH!” while drinking beer, but we’ve got serious issues in our development past BECAUSE of how we’re often motivated by foreign policy. (Hint: Aid to Cuba wasn’t being a good neighbor; it was to keep them from going Communist, which failed anyway).

The things I found out doing research for the paper seriously irked me, hence the cynicism.

Why can’t organizations just come out and say what their motivations are, instead of pretending?

It’s just like the media, who claim to be neutral:  watch long enough and you can see the alliances and rivalries. Just say what you’re after!

Sure, it looks bad to say “I’m helping you because one day you’ll be my chief importer”, but it looks worse for someone else to come along and uncover it. Besides, being upfront would allow for more decision-making by the recipient. Howso? Check it:

Democratic Country: Your people are poor and starving, let us help you, and in exchange you have to consider becoming democratic

Communist Country: Screw you and your aid. I’ll get help from someone else.

OR

Communist Country: Ok. Done.

Result: It goes back onto the government of the Communist nation to make a decision and deal with their problems. Change and get help, or stay the same and die. Eventually the people will do something, or they’ll die off. Either way, Democratic Country can say they offered, so there’s no blood on their hands.

Of course, this is being incredibly basic. There are too many people, egos and way too much bravado involved for it to be that simple. (because that’s all politics boils down to: ego and bravado *hence you’ll never see a soft-spoken leader* )

And that’s it for today. I’m sure there are exceptions, but this was a speed-run.  Not demonizing any particular organization or group, just peeved about the illusion of neutrality.

The whole “lies and propaganda” thing is why I stepped away from journalism, even though I wanted to work in the field since middle school.  Did you know that there’s a whole list of things that media practitioners can’t do? They can’t donate to groups. They can’t protest publicly. (Yes, it’s true. We went through a whole month of what you can and can't do as a "journalist" in my capstone course) They can’t do so many things in the name of neutrality, and yet they do them anyways.

Watch FOX, CBS, NBC, CNN. You can see a pattern in their stories. Who shows more Obama-positive news? More negative? “Gay rights” versus “marriage equality”? Who calls them “illegal immigrants” versus “undocumented workers”? Which paper covered Benghazi? Yeah.... “the unbiased media” AH HAHAHAHAAH....

This is why I don't want anything to do with journalism

Untitled

This pretty much sums up my last 2+ weeks. Proper update should come by Friday.