Presentations

This semester should be designated as “the semester of group projects”. I have four classes. Guess how many classes have RECURRING group projects? FOUR. Yep.

You know what goes well with group projects? Presentations, presentations and more presentations.

I should thank my western education right now. Since elementary school, presentations have been a regular part of school. I was Florence Nightingale. I’ve made a ceramic mask. I dressed up for my senior profile and have used more tri-fold boards than could ever possibly be necessary. Add in science fairs, G/T nights (Gifted& Talented [because once upon a time I showed promise and potential])) and “new and interactive” teaching methods, and 15 years later, presentations are no sweat.

It also helps that we had to study PowerPoint. I remember sitting in Software Applications class (sophomore year of high school...) and hammering out presentation after pointless presentation. They really were an exercise in futility. We never actually presented them. We’d just make them to the clients’ (textbook assigned fake people) specifications and get graded on creativity and if we filled their requirements, and then we’d delete them and start on new ones the following week.

                                                       

With that in mind, I have more than a few tics and twitches when it comes to presentations, specifically PowerPoint presentations. To my classmates and professors and everyone else who does these things: it’s not personal, it’s strictly business (unless I hate you, and then it is personal.  Your inability to make a perfect presentation obviously reflects negatively on your value as a human being). 

1)  Slide colors.

Please. Please please please please pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaasssssssssseeeeee. I’m all for creativity and colors and whatnot, but check and the contrast and visibility. Don’t use red font on a black background.  Try not to assault the senses…I shouldn’t feel like I’m being blinded. Neon colors are NOT YOUR FRIEND.

2) Amount of text

This is a presentation, not a novel. I was taught that a slide should never have more than 100 words on it, and I think even that’s a bit much.   People should be focused on you, not racing to read everything before you switch slides.

3) Text size

Again, it’s just the way I was taught: nothing smaller than 18pt. 10~12pt is typical print 's read at arm’s length or so. Considering that, how do you expect people to read 12pt on a screen several feet away? If the audience is squinting, it’s a bad sign. If there isn’t enough room on the slide to fit everything you need, split the information up, but don’t make it microscopic.

This is infuriating for several reasons...

4) Font

If you EVER use Kid Print, Comic Sans or any other “cutesy” font in a presentation that isn’t for a group of kids, slap yourself. Do it again. And again. And again. Times New Romans, Arial and Calibri are always safe bets.  It’s better to be boring than illegible. (I had a hagwon owner who had monthly meetings. English is my first language and I could barely understand the words because of the font…)

4) Reading slides

DON’T DO IT. DON’T DO IT. JUST DON’T FRICKIN’ DO IT! I (along with the rest of your audience) am fully capable of reading. It’s called a presentation.  You are presenting the information. My Software Apps teacher put it like this: “the presentation is a body. Your slides are the skeleton.  Your speech completes the body.” She’s right, you know. The slides hold the basic information and structure the speech, but you need details and stuff to fill in the blanks, that’s where the speech comes in.

5) Animations, videos and images

The image is more of a distraction...don't do this.

Good. Wonderful. Fabtastic…in moderation.  The images or animations should add to the presentation, not just be there to be cute or take up space. Negative space isn’t always a bad thing. If you add a video, make sure it works. Images shouldn’t clash with the slide or be distracting.  Charts are in this category as well. If the chart is too large to fit on a slide “comfortably”, cut it in pieces or don’t use it.

6) The Speech

Don’t write a script. If you have a script, you’re reading a script. If you’re reading a script you’re not looking at the audience. Notes are all fine and good, I use them all the time, but being read to from a script is no good. Know the information you’re presenting and be comfortable enough with it to hold a decent conversation about it. You’ll always have that one special person who asks a ridiculous question (that they probably already know the answer to).  All you can do is answer to the best of your ability. I’m no stranger to saying “that’s not the focus of this presentation, but you’re more than welcome to look that up if you’d like” (Yeah, I’m kinda blunt like that).

 7) *Super Extra Twitchy Tic* Do not end with "thank you for listening to my speech". If you are a professional speaker, the audience should be thanking you for speaking. If you are a student, they don't have a choice, so there's no thanking involved. It's trite. It's meaningless. Stop it. It's okay to just say "that's all for my speech" or "thanks for your participation"(if they participated) but, every single speech I've heard in this country has ended with "thank you for listening [to] my speech." STOP IT RIGHT NOW!

"Thanks for listening to my..." TALK TO THE HAND, BECAUSE THE EARS DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!

If it seems like I’m being critical, it’s because I am. Simply type “Bad PowerPoint” into your search engine of choices, and you’ll see that I’m not alone in my disdain for certain things…

One of the biggest irritations about presenting in grad school here is this: “English is your language, and you’re good at presentations, so you should present.” No. Nice try, but no. English is my language and I’m good at presentations, so  you should present. I don’t want the practice, I’ve got 15+ years of it versus your 1-2 years. Besides, as long as you’re understandable, English ability isn’t important. What’s important is the content of the presentation and your ability to get it across in a way that doesn’t create more questions than it answers….

Okay? Good. Check you in the next entry, when I’ll go over the evils of group projects.